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Tuesday, March 23, 2021

 2021-03-23

Obviously, it's essential for the bipolar people to remain calm for as long as possible. Unfortunately, there are dozens of reasons for anyone to lose temper easily. Theoretically, if we could be calm forever, then we do not have to take medication. 

Yes, that's right! If we could remain calm forever... Hold on, who could ever make it? In fact, none! No matter how good our temper is, we might lose our temper unpredictably. When I lose my temper, I would be outrageous, erupted like a volcano. Generally, I'm really a good temper guy but when I lose my temper, it would be crazily scary! Sigh... I'd never meant to act in this way whatsoever. 

Since my last discharge from the ward (in the end of the year of 2017), I was being outrageous twice in total. It was absolutely out of my control, and I didn't know why I suddenly got so mad. Fortunately, my medication did help me. Since I discharged from the ward till now, I faithfully take my medication and never miss a doss. If I stopped my medication, then for sure I'd have to admit psychiatric ward again due to falling into the chaos mind state and couldn't pull myself out of it. 

It was really strange that I did get so mad, and after a while, I could get back my sanity. It didn't happen once but twice. This really shows that taking medication is so important for all the bipolar people. The experience of breakdowns were too tough to bear. After breakdowns, the time to recover was pretty long. When I could get back my normal life, my soul was full of scars and might still bleeding. Everyone who did experience it sure doesn't want to have another breakdown. No more, please.

The side effects of the medication are so frightening and true. When I compare the side effects with my breakdowns, it's a wiser choice taking medication faithfully. Of course, I want to be a fit guy NOT a fat guy. And of course, I want to have a crystal clear mind NOT a foggy mind. All in all, undoubtedly NO breakdowns. 

  

Monday, March 22, 2021

 2021-03-22

一个月才写一次的部落格,确实不感到什么压力,也因为这样,可以一直这样继续下去。在写这部落格之前,会反复问自己,当中的内容有没有重复?阅读这部落格的人士会否从中得到什么正面的信息?

一般的情况下,精神科医生一开药给躁郁症(双向情感障碍)病患者,通常都是“丙戊酸钠”(Sodium Valproate),又名“抗癫灵”或“艾匹灵”(Epilim)。这药可以对付躁郁症,加上它的副作用并不致命。按道理来说,这药物不会导致肥胖,只是让患者胃口变得特别好。事实是,这药确实会导致肥胖,一个人胃口特别好,吃得特别多,肯定会变得特别胖!我曾经一直服用艾匹灵,可惜始终无法长时间服用。由于身为男子,不会太介意体型变胖。让我放弃服用的原因,是这药物令人懊恼的第二大副作用:忧郁时会更加忧郁,还会把忧郁的时间拉长!

2017年年初,精神崩溃入院后,还被送进疗养院一个多月。出来后,当然乖乖长期服用着艾匹灵。必须知道的是,纵然服了药,躁郁症病患者仍然会经历:高亢期、忧郁期、混乱期(高亢加上忧郁)以及普通期,当然比不上没服药时那般显著。进入忧郁期时,艾匹灵让我更加忧郁,甚至无止境地忧郁下去,长达了六个月!忍耐得无法继续忍耐的情况下,跟家人说,请马上送我进入精神病院,好像快要崩溃啦。就这样又进入了精神病院。精神科医生马上帮我换了药,换成了“碳酸锂”(Lithium Carbonate),期果效比艾匹灵好多了。

为何医生不让患者一开始即服用碳酸锂呢?因为这药的副作用相当致命:它会导致患者的肾脏衰竭而亡!现在情况算是安稳,大约一年一次去医院复诊,而复诊前必需验血。精神科医生可透过验血报告,来鉴定这碳酸锂药物不会导致我的肾脏衰竭。所幸的是,到目前为止安然无恙。双相情感障碍的医药研究似乎停顿了十几二十年,没有什么进展,更不必说有什么突破,艾匹灵和碳酸锂仍旧是最主要的两种药物。患者们要自强乐观,因我们至少还有这两种药物。