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Tuesday, November 24, 2020

 2020-11-24

About disclose, it's quite an important topic for mental illness people. When should we disclose it? How we disclose it? Should we really want or have to disclose it to someone?

It's terribly addictive to share whatever we have to people. It does feel good when we share it but never satisfy. It's like we were trying to scratch our itchy part and always fail scratching at the right spot. Most of the times we might feel frustrated how come other people hardly or never understand us. Some people did their very best in understanding us, we gratefully knew it but sigh... Ya, you know what I mean, it seemed they couldn't help much. 

Actually it's fine, we should never ever expect someone really understands us. It really not a necessity anyway. To be honest, do you really fully understand yourself? Do you really know what you really want? Do you have all your plans clearly stated and know your ultimate targets? I don't know. Really, I don't really know all these. It's doesn't matter! 

So. what is the most important thing for us? A sound mind. We must make sure that we are having a sound mind. We are not super humans, not demi gods, and never super-human. Besides, we are not rubbish, not useless ones, and never redundant human beings. Stop going to the extreme from one end to the other end and keep having a sound mind. 

Back to the topic today. As for myself, I'd stop sharing my illness problems to anyone. No more! Whatsoever, if it's really necessary, then I might disclose it but not simply share it anymore.   

Monday, November 23, 2020

 2020-11-23

身为精神病患者,会不知觉渴望有双肯聆听的耳朵。当遇见某个比较谈得来的朋友,即会向某人透露自己的病情。其实这作为是极度不可取的,因为聆听是一回事,拥有高强的同理心又是另一回事。毕竟许许多多的人都不具备所谓高强的同理能力,而这样贸贸然向某人倾诉,只会让自己受到不必要的伤害。

难道是他或她故意伤害我们吗?当然不!心肠稍微好的人士都很想伸出援手,可惜有能力助之者却微乎其微。盲目找人倾述只是另一种瘾,开始感觉良好但总无法持久。我奢望对方怎么样呢?解决方案是完全徒然的,能找到真正了解我的人也近乎不可能。换言之,难道要全然封闭吗?万万不可!绝对不可以把自己与他人残酷隔离。那么这准绳又怎么拟定呢?老实说,我仍在探索。

他人的体谅比较重要,还是能公正与他人竞争更重要呢?他人的谅解又要达到什么程度呢?与他人有尊严地竞争又怎么达到理想的公正呢?谁有权力拟定,而谁能让大家都遵行响应呢?可惜都没有,让我觉得无助和近乎绝望。无论如何,真正关心我的人是存在的且有不少这样的人士。想说的是,他们很多时候更觉得无助与无奈,不知道可以怎么样好好帮我。一定要好好珍惜与疼爱这些恩人,衷心感谢他们的不离不弃。

仍然觉得非常的不甘心,依然痛恨这摸不着边际的无助与无奈。因着这些人士的爱与关怀,我怎么样都不可以放弃。除此之外,还要好好学习爱自己,宽容自己在此时仍无法找到答案。