2019-10-09


No one likes to accept that they are having mental illness. It's really easy for us to accept other theories. What if, we are having something else, anything is OK as long as it's not mental illness. Yes, I truly wish the whole incident was a misdiagnosed only.


Unfortunately, it's pretty hard for me to be misdiagnosed. Five times breakdown, obviously it's pretty impossible to get into the category of misdiagnosis. Time is precious, and I'm not young anymore to take whatever possible risks. It was crazily hard to standup again for a single relapse. At the beginning, the medication was so heavy until I had to move like a zombie and couldn't speak properly. I had to tell myself numerous times that I would recover.


Yes, I have to admit that it was hard to take medication faithfully. Every time when I was slightly OK, I would think that I should stop my medication. You may see that I was so stubborn in rejecting my mental status until I could breakdown for 5 times. It was hurt, ridiculously painful and suffering journey to live a normal life again. Hence, I need to take note that I should never stop taking my medication.


Recently, I found out myself might be an empath. Some people say bipolar disorder people's empathetic level is generally low. Some people say some empaths have been misdiagnosed as bipolar disorder. For me, the feeling is too much. Let say, I'm an empath. And then, how to manage? Leaving this busy city, get myself away from people, be in the natural most of the time, having more self time... Yes, rich people can do all these things but I'm just an average income people.


What I wanna say today is, if we can get away from mental illness labeling, we may surely do it. There are so many theories and sayings about this, as an average income people, it's advisable to take medication rather than trying all sorts of different ways.