2019-07-16


It's not easy to be a human being, and it's definitely harder to be a people with bipolar disorder. We look perfectly normal outside but we are struggling terribly with our moods inside.


People might think, as long as we are on medication obediently, then we would be fine and have a normal life as others. Yes, this sounds really good and I cannot say no. The fact is, sometimes, I'm still struggling with roaring moods inside. At the moment, I'm fighting with a long lasting depressed mood. Emotionally exhausted all the time, and I really hope that there is an off button on me so that I can press the button and turn myself off entirely.


It's ridiculously painful inside and I have no ways to ease the pain. The painful feeling remains for a long time days and nights. No way to run, no way to escape. Perseverance, yes, practising perseverance during this terrible moment. Negative thoughts will always be with me, doing their best to destroy my believes. Believe I can have a fruitful life, believe I can have a cheerful life, believe I can do great things...... All these believes would be vanished into the thin air.


How to go through? How to survive? Sadly, I have no idea, I have no solution. I only know one thing, I must go on. Yes, this is the only thing I know. No matter what, no matter how, I must go on!