2020-01-22


It's really hard to write blog on daily basis but it's quite easy to manage by writing blog monthly. So, I'll try to write something here every single month.


Nothing much changes recently. Life becomes quite stable under medication for more than 2 years. Hence, boredom becomes a new challenge so far. Nevertheless, by having a good routine of exercise, I would still fall sick when I was having a long depression stage. It's should be a fact that our immune system is highly related with our moods.


Due to I would become sleepy at night after taking medication, I'd go to bed early at night and wake up early in the morning. If I have to involve in a night sport for example night cycling event, then I would take my medication when I reached home after the event. Of course we should take medication on the same time every day but it's better for me to take it after a sport event to avoid unnecessary accidents.


Dignity is another serious topic. While holding a disability card, how to I sustain my dignity? How could I bear the strange looks by the people when they see I have a disability card? To counteract with it, self acceptance plays a major role. For the majority, it's a shame for them to hold such a card. Even ladies stay away from me when they know I have such a mental illness. It's okay, I don't need people's recognition to survive.


In fact, we are stronger than ordinary people. It's not our choice to have such an illness but we choose to accept it, and live in the world like anybody else. The medication helps us to remain sanity but it's not an ultimate cure. Instead, we need to be strong and brave to face the monster inside and survive in this cruel world.


Yes, we are much stronger! If someone looks down on us, it's a shame for themselves but definitely not us. So, lift up our head and go on.

2020-01-21


踏入新的一年，即将告别猪年迎来了鼠年。新的一年会更好吗？纵然不会却也如此期待。


曾经亲友们总会唠叨轰炸着我，过后已有很多年不再问我了。或许他们自己都厌烦了吧，每年问同样的问题，让他们都会厌恶自己。很奇怪，到了某个年龄，就好象不想恋爱。这应该是所谓的“心如止水”。


恋爱需要一股冲动。当年龄越长，对爱情渐渐不再渴望，也慢慢失去了冲动。无论如何，即使仍然是孤家寡人，生活一定要好好地过。拥有爱情以及拥有自己的家庭是幸福的，可是他们背后所经历的苦是无法言传的，只有当事者最清楚不过。不必羡慕，也不必对此存有憧憬。


身为精神病患，没有妻子与孩子也是好事。因为没有这方面大得惊人的压力，不必扛起身为丈夫与父亲的责任。若自己发生状况时，不至于成为妻子与孩子们的重担和包袱。当然在目前的单身状况，要好好确保自己安然生活。


要潇洒一些，大声告诉自己：“单身就单身吧，不是世界末日，而地球仍然在转动！”