2021-11-24

Ops, what a mistake. Actually I should write an English message first but I accidentally wrote a Chinese message before this one. Obviously this really shows my detriment in concentration due to depression state. It's out of my control, and if someone asks me face to face, "Are you okay?", I would definitely give him a bear hug. 

There are some group activities and assignments in University of Malaya (UM). I never intend to be a leader but I became a leader eventually. Sometimes I would like to sit back and let others to take the lead. Most probably, I want to inform my group members that I'm not feeling well at the moment and please take the leader role off me. Anyway, I never do so. 

For the first semester, all the courses are online learning. It would be much better if I could go on campus and study courses there. It would be much better to meet all my course mates and discuss whatsoever face to face. Unfortunately, I have to wait until semester 2 for hybrid courses, it means I could choose either study on campus or online. For sure I would go to the campus, and prefer not to study online anymore. 

Due to depression state, I handle all the major tasks all these days. Of course I hope that I could perform as usual but I have to accept the reality that I could not do so at the moment. If I feel tired, I would surely slow down and take some rest from time to time. Not feeling guilty to be less productive. The best thing is, I could still go on with all the essential daily routines. 

Dear readers especially those who suffer mental health issues, please do not blame yourself or others for your mental problems. There are many things we do not know but what we do know is already enough to keep us moving.