"24th November 2015"
It's a rainny day today. While writing this post, it's still raining nonstop. I prefer sunny day, especially a bright yellowish sun in the clear blue skies. When I feel down, the ray of sunlight has the power to energies me.

Loneliness is common for those who live in the city. There are plenty of people along the street, in a shopping mall, any restaurant and etc., but still feeling lonely among the people. The feeling gets worse for mental illness people because I can understand other people, but no matter how hard I try, other people cannot understand me. This is really a big problem.

In my life till today, I just managed to have a short relationship with a lady. Our love relationship only lasted for a few months. I could generally understood her in a short period of time but she could hardly understand me. Moreover, I could tune to her channel in communicating with her but she didn't know how to do the same for me. One day she asked me a favour, could I help her to understand me and tune to my own channel? I'd had a great haywire for this request. How could someone understand a mental illness guy? It's almost impossible.

Never expect someone can really understand me because a mental illness guy's mind is far too complex. So what? Basically I'm true and honest to all my family members and friends. No need to understand me because while I'm having racing thoughts, I could think for a few things at the same time. All I want is, just be with me, by my side, it's already more than enough for me.