“12th November 2014”

When I started this blog, I already expected that no one would leave me a message. Those who write me a message would be assumed that they must have mental illness problems too. Moreover, I myself also do not expose my true name. Anyway, I’m grateful that more and more people are reading my blog. I do not know who you are but I’m appreciated to everyone who views my blog.

Generally, psychiatrists encourage all the mental illness patients to mingle with the ordinary people in the world. Of course it would be much easier for us to stay close with other mental illness patients but we are advised to stay away from other patients. We have been advised to keep our illness as a secret because the majority people might isolate us. As I’ve noticed, the media likes to label us as ‘dangerous people’. When mental illness people committed a crime, the media would like to emphasise that he or she did so because he or she has mental illness problems. Even the actual fact is, the rate for ordinary people to commit a crime is much higher, but most people still prefer that mental illness people are more dangerous.

I might have a normal and routine lifestyle as most people but undeniable I have much lower self esteem. The approval and acceptance of other people seems so important to me. Unconsciously I might overdo something to get such approval. It is really bad for mental health in doing so. Thus I hold still to some principles so that I can live comfortably. Those principles are: no to alcoholic drinks, get to bed at the same time daily, take medicine on time every night, exercise regularly, rest without guilt once I feel tired, and just be myself.

It was a pleasant company trip to Taiwan and it was fun to get along with all my colleagues. Actually it was easy to stay together with people. Just be myself and other people would accept who I am. When they asked me question which I did not know how to answer, for example why I have a master degree but work as an engineer only in this company, I just have to smile and no need to say a word. No need to answer honestly that I have a permanent mental illness and hence cannot handle a stressful job. For sure it would be an awkward silence after this because most people do not know how to react. Whatsoever, life is still good.