2016-09-20

在今年初，短短几个月的时间，前前后后跟三位女生交往。当时确实很渴望能展开一段恋情，并深深期盼那恋情能开花结果。每年过年期间，亲友们总显得如此关怀我能否快点成家。每一位派红包给我的亲戚，递给我红包前一定会劝我尽快结婚吧。

当那三段的恋情都纷纷告吹后，真的想一辈子独生了，脑袋里还思索着该如何一个人生活。之前到新加坡受训一个星期，受训期间几乎每晚都有人请吃晚餐。小姑住在新加坡，平常都会跟她说不少个人的东西。记得等待着飞机起飞前，坐在等待区的时候，小姑打电话跟我聊了一会儿。原本只是写信息给她，但她一看到我写给她，“如果我继续单身的话，会考虑飞往诺丁汉度过余生。” 她马上打电话来劝导我。

小姑依然积极鼓励我成家，不要放弃希望。她说，这病症已经越来越普遍，而我的情况都受到良好的控制。每晚只需要吃一颗药，近乎三年了仍然病情稳定。她说，她认为我根本没有问题，若我没有告诉她我有躁郁症，她就算死也不会相信。她还说，她看得出我可以是位好丈夫，也将会是位好爸爸。只要心里坚信自己将会成家，就会有机会成家。在小姑的鼓励之下，会相信我将会成家，做位好丈夫和好爸爸。

上个星期六复诊，同样跟精神科医生聊了不到五分钟的时间。告诉他我最近的工作评估，上司给了我一百分满分，所以可以获得不错的花红。上司知道我的精神状况，所以无法让我担任责任比较重大的工作。因此我在同一间公司做了七年多，还只是个普普通通的工程师。不过还是欣慰上司给予我在工作上的肯定。

2016-09-14

Tomorrow is Mid-Autumn Festival. The moon will be bright and round in the skies by tomorrow night. I'm concerned that the price of a moon cake is so costly nowadays.

The UK did well for the Olympic Games in Rio and does well again for the Paralympic Games. Then, I've realised learning problem is also a disability. When I searched online, I've found this: http://www.disability.wa.gov.au/understanding-disability1/understanding-disability/what-is-disability/ 

There are so many kinds of disabilities: intellectual, psychiatric, cognitive, neurological, sensory and physical impairments. Obviously I have psychiatric disability. Anyway, I'm not good enough to be a Paralympics athlete. Just that I've just realised, if I'm good enough in any of the sports, I'm qualified to join Paralympic Games. 

Athletes spend so many hours a day to major in a sport. If we have to learn from the athletes, then we have to learn more from the athletes of Paralympics. They never give up of their lives regardless what kinds of impairments they have. Thus, we should never give up too.  

2016-09-01

拒绝了某间私立大学的博士课程后，心里感到很难过。前几天，难过得一想起就想哭泣，今天已经好了很多，不再如此感触良多。事实是，此时的我，无论在经济上还是精神上都无法胜任。

兼读课程长达六年，每年的学费不菲，肯定会让自己莫名的压力。知道自己做了对的决定，无奈心里依然极其难受，好像亲手把梦想给毁灭。申请该大学困难重重，过关斩将的，可惜最终无法完成却是因为自己的问题。对自己说：“没关系，再等多几年，一定还有机会。” 可是怎么努力，仍然无法压抑内心的痛。

目前所工作的公司鼓励员工继续进修，因为科技发展迅速，必须不间断地充实自己，以免落入不进则退的窘境。由于这些课程都是免费的，那么我可以把注意力转向进修公司所提供的任何课程。

懂事是好事，在面子书里却看到有文章评论懂事的孩子长大后会有严重的情绪问题。知道自己没有资格去反驳此文章，因为躁郁症是严重的精神问题。不过我想说，叛逆的孩子会比较成功，但他们会为其他人着想吗？他们有同理心吗？他们会体恤其他人的感受吗？如果成功了，却让爱他的人严重受到伤害，那么那所谓的成功有意义吗？

2016-08-27

It's such an honour that a renowned private university accepts my PhD course application. Unfortunately, due to some solid reasons, I have to reject the offer. Firstly, the tuition fee is beyond my personal budget as I have to support my aged parents who are retired and secondly my manager encourages me to enroll those courses which are fully sponsored by my company. 

Frankly speaking, English is not my strong language and I asked my aunt who is an English tuition teacher in Singapore to correct my email to the university. When I read through the email which has been fully corrected by my dear aunt, I was so amazed that her ability to write so well and fluent in English. I was wondering, when will I have the ability to write like her? I was a science student and language is a tool for me to convey messages. Generally, universities will not expect science students to write as a law student. However, there is still a standard for all the students regardless of their courses to have a good skill in writing English. 

There are so many things we may learn and of course we cannot learn everything. I believe everyone of us must have at least one talent. We may try our best to maximise it through our life journey. Thinking is one of my hobbies and that's why I love writing down all my thoughts.

The main point for today message is, we must be good at something and thus we do not have to jealous what other people has but we do not have. Learning is really interesting, so do not waste your time and keep on learning.  

2016-08-24

刚完成在波德申的铁人三赛：游泳1.5公里、骑脚车40公里和跑步10公里。去年也参加了铁人三赛，不过是短程的，所有项目的距离都少一半。成功完成，拿到了奖牌。当成绩出来后，发现自己的排名挺后面的，还发现世界各国的专业运动员都参与此赛。

用了三个小时多完成，轻松地游、自在地骑、爽快地跑，不会觉得辛苦。看着一路的风景，再看看所参与的运动员，不知觉就完成了这项比赛，那三个多小时似乎过得很快。看见运动员骑着脚车，一边吃着补充精力的运动食品。同样看到运动员跑着步，一边吃着那食品。我没有买来吃，曾经喝红牛而呕吐，医生告诉我，我这身体不须要红牛，因为已经精力充沛了。

很多东西，好像已经注定了，无法去更改，可是我们可以改变心态。比方说，我有足够的精力完成比赛，但是我无法像那些专业的运动员那么迅速。不过参与的感觉很棒，可以跟大家一起游泳、骑脚车和跑步，真的很兴奋。如果我一直想超越大部分的人，输了就不开心，那么这场比赛将会十分煎熬。

同样的，在生活里，有些东西参与不来就不要参与，但若有些项目可以参与就尽情参与。每个人都不一样，可是一定有在思想和兴趣上接近的团体。不要把自己从人群里隔离，保持一颗开放的心，相信这样会活得比较愉快。

2016-08-11

Everyone is playing Pokemon Go. Everywhere you go, wherever you see, everyone is holding their smartphone and playing the game. It is so attractive to almost anyone. 

The game started here on last Saturday and my brother was the first one who installed the game. Initially, I did not plan to install this game and solely wanted to accompany my brother to catch more monsters. However his phone easily hanged and the game could not function well. Even my mother likes this game so much and she joined us to catch more monsters. Maybe you disagree that I call all these creatures as 'monsters' because for my understanding, Pokemon is the short form of 'pocket' and 'monster', in short it means "monsters in your pocket". 

On Monday, my brother's phone hanged severely. After that, I downloaded the game and passed to my mother to play it. Later on, when I parked my car aside a playground, my mother passed back the phone to me and she asked me to play. Frankly speaking, the game is really interesting. Moreover, my mother bought a new phone yesterday and the main reason was to install the game. Thus, my mother is playing the game on her own new smart phone since yesterday. 

Is it good or bad for Pokemon Go? Actually this is the theory of a knife. You cannot judge a knife is bad because it's all depend on the user. If the user use the knife for cooking, definitely the knife is a good tool. Same as the game, if you play it before and after your routine working hours, it's really an exciting tool to release your stress.  

2016-08-04

有些人觉得时间过得很快；有些人觉得时间过得很慢。快乐时，时间过得很快；煎熬时，每一秒都显得漫长。很多人喜欢抱怨，埋怨生活苦闷，认为许多东西都没有了意义。以致于此，人们都培养众多的嗜好：酗酒、吸毒、嫖妓、烂赌、沉溺于电玩和无止境的电视剧等等。

时间很宝贵，每一分每一秒都极其珍贵。有人觉得金钱很重要，其实时间就是金钱，甚至比金钱更加昂贵。当情绪低潮时，痛苦的感觉满贯，但不可以放纵了自己。当精神药物尚未发明之前，不少精神病患者都借着酒和毒品去消除苦楚。这些东西无法把苦楚消除，而是加剧了痛苦。更严重的是，把时间都荒废，苏醒的时候，已经过了年华，内心积满了怨恨。

我们能做的东西很多，但千万别忘了要有安好的睡眠。能做什么呢？感恩吧。你们知道吗？精神病患者所服用的药物，会让病患者觉得几乎任何食物都非常美味。这或许是为何精神病患者服用了这药物，会不知觉发胖的主因。

每次跟家人和朋友去用餐，都会听到他人投诉食物不好吃。很奇怪的是，我都觉得很美味。当大家都抱怨食物难吃的时候，他们问我的意见时，我都会微笑回答，真的很好吃。不久后，大家就不再问我的意见。

今天想说的是，时间太宝贵，宝贵得不值得让我们不断地浪费时间埋怨。诉苦也是一种嗜好，一旦陷入了就无法自拔。