2016-10-18

有时候连我自己也迷糊了，到底还应不应该继续写这部落格。过着正常的生活：规律的作息、稳定的工作、坚持常常运动、与人融洽交往等等。有位在新加坡的亲戚，她不断告诉我：“你很正常，我根本看不出你有什么问题。或许我会怀疑丈夫和儿子有精神问题，但死都不相信你有问题。如果你不告诉任何人，没有人会察觉到。”

这可爱的亲戚，她的言词不时会令人捧腹大笑。当然这是她的看法，若长久与我一起，还是会察觉一丁点儿的小问题。不过如今的生活，压力实在是太大了，导致人人都有某种程度方面的情绪问题。相信一般人都要学习如何掌管自己的情绪，而患有这情绪疾病的我，肯定要比他人更加勤劳好好掌控。因着科技神速飞跃，一日千里的高科技，让处于科技领域的群众都感到莫名的大压力。在这科技领域里，人人都要不停学习。假如懒惰不愿学习，只要超过了一年，其他人都跑到你前面去。倘若依然故我，再过几年，那人在他的岗位就变得可有可无。

由于心灵方面的空虚，往往会拿物质去把它填满，可是这是物质永远填不满的空洞，只会越填越深深体会内心的孤寂。这只有爱才可以填满，唯有爱才能治疗的疼痛。若你想他人怎么对待你，那么你就用同样的方式去对待他人。这是我们听到再熟悉不过的道理，但事实并非如此简单。为何？因为人人都是独特的，你所喜爱的东西，另一个人未必会喜欢。打个比方，我很喜欢拥抱他人，无论是男人还是女人，都喜欢给他们大大的拥抱。问题来了。其他人未必都喜欢拥抱他人或被他人拥抱，有些人甚至还感到极度憎恶。但有一样还是挺准确的，那就是人人都需要被他人关心。所以你必需先了解他人，真正了解他，过后才可以用他喜爱的方式去对待他。

学习关心他人，他人也会来关心你。那么那在心灵的空虚，才可以慢慢被他人的关爱而渐渐填满了。

2016-10-06

Love relationship is a painful experience for me. I have no problems to get along with ladies and I can easily have conversation with any of them. As time went by, they would think that I was their Mr. Right and they were nearly willingly accepting me as their lover. However, once they knew my mental health condition, amazingly quick, the next morning, they would try their best to reject me indirectly. This story happened again and again. 

Someone advised me to keep it as a secret forever. How to keep it as a secret? I still have to take daily medication, and I also need to consult my psychiatrist every 3 months. Moreover, I still have lows and highs which make me suffering for numerous times. How could I explain it to her if I keep it as a secret for all these bizarre behaviours? She will soon find it out. No way for me to lie to her. Once she finds it out, the same story happens (being dumped again) whatsoever. 

Of course I wish to be with someone, of course I wanna love someone wholeheartedly, of course I am willing to sacrifice my life for my own little family. Anyway, in their eyes, I must be a weirdo or a psycho. They felt scared and kept away from me. It was all right for me. If anyone feels uncomfortable to be with me, they can always have their own choice to stay far away from me. 

Unfortunately, the acceptance level for the people in the East is much lower than the West. You may realise this if the person got a chance to stay a month in a psychiatric ward in a Western country and another month in a psychiatric ward in an Eastern country. I experienced it and I knew the actual situation. 

Stay strong and tough. This is what I can say. If no one loves you, at least you can love yourself.

2016-10-04

上个星期听到电台的新闻报导，才知道原来三个人里就有一个患上了精神病。这表示精神病已经越来越普及化。虽然如此，众人对精神病患者还保留不友善的观念。如今生活在社会所要承受的压力越来越大，导致很多人都会患上某种程度情绪方面的精神病。

因为这些不友善的想法，让很多人患上了情绪方面的精神病也不愿意去看专科医生，因为他们都认为这是极大的羞辱。在政府医院，各个部门都有很多病患者在那里等待。相比之下，精神科部门那里，等待就医的病患者显得较少。这会给让你错觉，让人觉得精神病患者的数量不多。

我很听话的天天定时服药，也定时复诊。每次复诊时，跟精神科医生之间的说话时间往往不会超过五分钟。三个月才复诊一次，又可以选择星期六，因此不会造成生活上的困扰。三个月见一次医生，医药费方面同样不会造成任何负担。相信是患者自己愿不愿意接受治疗。如果患者愿意接受治疗，要如平常人一样生活并不是难事。

当然还有些状况，事情也并非想象中那么简单。情绪还是会有高亢期和沮丧期，只是因为天天服药的关系，让情绪在某个区域里荡漾。一旦进入了沮丧期，内在还是会感到疼痛和不舒服，可是却还有能力撑下去。这世界没有完美也不可能完美，所以能如此已经了不起。

我相信，精神病患仍然可以拥有一个幸福美满的家庭。学习包容、妥协、忍耐与爱，深信一切的不可能都会变成可能。